Say it Simply: Tips for Clear Writing

Gary Westbrook, Senior Editor, The Journal of Neuroscience
Linda Cooper, McGill University

Precise sentences, the hallmark of effective writing in science, help make complex research accessible and enhance communication in a highly interdisciplinary field such as neuroscience. Conversely, unnecessarily complex sentences can lead to impenetrable texts that frustrate even diligent readers. Ideas stated simply have a better chance of being understood. Here we offer tips for clear writing by revising sentences published in The Journal of Neuroscience within the past five years.

Original: It is generally agreed that the ability to discriminate between different auditory signals is supported by neurons of the auditory cortex and surrounding cortical areas, yet some ability to perform auditory discriminations is retained after loss of regions of the cortex.
Revised: While neurons of the auditory cortex and surrounding cortical areas discriminate among different auditory signals, some ability to perform auditory discriminations remains after these cortical regions are damaged. This revision limits the verb ‘to be,' reduces prepositional phrases, and eliminates redundancy by removing the obvious.

Original: The stimulus for the sprouting is not known, but it has been suggested that it might be in response to BDNF released from the terminals of small-diameter DRG cells.
Revised: BDNF released from the terminals of small-diameter DRG cells might stimulate sprouting. This revision eliminates the verb ‘to be,' reorganizes information into an appropriate stress position, and eliminates redundancy by removing the obvious.

Original: The physiological activity of LHC mutant synapses is also consistent with there being a defect in vesicle tethering or docking, because transmission is reduced and release appears less synchronous than in wild-type animals.
Revised: Reduced transmission and asynchronous release at synapses in LHC mutant animals also suggest a defect in vesicle tethering or docking. This revision uses the active rather than the passive voice, eliminates the verb ‘to be,' and moves information into an appropriate stress position.

Original: Given the importance of the NET to noradrenergic transmission, it is conceivable that regulation of the level of expression of the NET gene in noradrenergic neurons may be a natural mechanism by which noradrenergic transmission can be adjusted in vivo in response to physiological demands placed on this system.
Revised: Regulating norepinephrine transporter (NET) gene expression may be a natural mechanism to adjust noradrenergic transmission in response to physiological demands. This revision reduces the verb ‘to be' and prepositional phrases.

Original: The diffuse plaques are composed of nonfibrillar amorphous Aß aggregates that are not associated with degenerative changes, whereas the cored plaques contain abundant Aß fibrils that are associated with pathological changes in the surrounding brain parenchyma.
Revised: Cored plaques, composed of abundant Aß fibrils, cause pathological changes whereas diffuse plaques, composed of nonfibrillar amorphous Aß aggregates, do not. This revision eliminates the verb ‘to be' and reinforces parallelism.

Original: The role of BDNF in DRG cells is given added importance by the fact that BDNF synthesis is greatly increased after nerve injury.
Revised: BDNF synthesis increases greatly in DRG cells after nerve injury suggesting that BDNF plays an important role (in what?) This revision eliminates the verb ‘to be,' reorganizes information into an appropriate stress position, and identifies missing information (role for what?).

Original: In view of the role of BDNF and TrkB in synapse plasticity, the clarification of this issue is crucial.
Revised: Here we clarify the role of BDNF and TrkB in synapse plasticity. This revision uses the active rather than the passive voice.

Original: The goal of the present study was to evaluate directly a role of the cAMP pathway in opiate withdrawal behaviors by studying, in vivo, whether withdrawal is influenced by intra-LC infusion of compounds known to activate or inhibit protein kinase A (PKA).
Revised: Here we evaluate a role of the cAMP pathway in opiate withdrawal behaviors by monitoring withdrawal after infusing the LC with protein kinase A (PKA) activators or inhibitors. This revision replaces nouns with verbs, eliminates the verb ‘to be,' and reorganizes information into an appropriate stress position.

Original: These data imply that a family of high-affinity semaphorin binding sites similar in complexity to the semaphorin ligand family exists.
Revised: The high-affinity semaphorin binding sites are as complex as the semaphorin ligand family. This revision eliminates unnecessary phrases and moves information into an appropriate stress position.

Original: In this study, the appearance of this boundary and the mechanism by which cell movement is restricted were examined through a number of approaches.
Revised: We used numerous approaches to examine the mechanisms that restrict cell movement and create this boundary. This revision uses the active rather than the passive voice and eliminates prepositional phrases.

Learn More at the Annual Meeting

At the Society's annual meeting, we cover these and other writing techniques in a Journal-sponsored workshop called “Writing, Editing, and Publishing in Science.” For more information about the Orlando workshop, contact Linda.Cooper@mcgill.ca.